Ethiopia is a county rife with traditions. Every aspect of social life is dictated by one form of tradition or another that has persevered over time. Some good and some bad, the many traditions that have become a way of life are followed to the letter by most. Any deviation or refusal to comply would result in one being called a rebel.

From greetings to the way we eat to the way we act in public, everything has a rule of some sort. Adherence to these traditions has become so common that people have stopped questioning their merits and demerits on themselves and on others as well. Traditions that have been passed on from generation to generation enjoy their continuance indefinitely as society refuses to re-examine them or refuse to voice dissent.

Social gatherings and events are some part of societal function that need to be revisited. It is tradition to invite a large number of people for a wedding ceremony. It usually doesn’t matter how close the people invited are in interactions of day-to-day life when sending out invitations. No matter how strained or distant relations are, it is expected that people be invited for such events.

Many feel like it is their duty to pay back for all the previous events that they have attended as if it is a debt they incurred. Some couples, lately, have started to deviate from the normal tradition of doing things and celebrate their weeding differently. But this is met with strong opposition from family members and requires resilience to pull off.

A friend of mine got married a couple of years ago at city hall with just a few friends and family present. But soon, families on both sides insisted that a weeding ceremony be held. Refusal by the couples fell on deaf ears as the family went on to hold an extravagant event that cost a lot of money.

During the whole discussion on whether to hold a wedding ceremony or not and as the story spread, the couples were seen by many as rebels and disrespectful. It seems that society has become intolerant to any idea or view that is expressed without even considering the other’s point of view.

Many are seen restraining themselves from doing what they feel like for fear of disappointing others, often at the expense of their time and energy. Due to what most people call “yilugnta” in Amharic - the need not to disappoint or hurt others and their feelings - people are constantly seen putting their needs second.

Beating around the bush, not saying what one really means and not meaning what one says are common practices. If someone speaks their mind and come out against issues they feel strongly about, they are cast out as being rude and different.

Traditions are a good thing and keep the social fabric of community intact. But as there are good traditions, there are bad ones as well. Some are not in keep with the times we live in while others give emphasis to the collective rather than the individual. As we are starting to live in situations where everyone has to fend for themselves, it is inevitable that some traditions lose place.

It is no longer feasible to care about every move we make and what others may feel or say about it. People should come to the understanding that standing for what one feels is right is not an affront to others.

It is time for many of us to understand that some traditions simply have no place in our lives and are better discarded. Let’s see if we can just make do with simple events. Let’s let others speak their mind and not judge them because theirs is not the popular view. Let’s leave some traditions alone and see if we are better off without them.

By Hailu T.